Monday, February 7
i guess i need to write this out of myself more than anything else. it's okay if you don't understand, just please don't ask about this. i'm not sure what i'm doing or even what i am.
guess i made you a promise once.. a little too quickly. i didn't know what was going on - i simply flung that promise out, a guyline to catch you and hold you before you fell. i thought i was strong enough. now i know how wrong i was. guess i didn't know how ridiculous and yet incredibly forceful feelings can be. how utterly stupid. i can't break that promise. i've broken too many this past lifetime. but i can keep it on another level. guess that's the way it's gotta be. i'm sorry. i really am. i never meant to lose control of both the situation and how i felt. but i'm putting it behind me now. i have to. i can't live life walking forwards looking backwards. despite the twinge i felt just now staring up into the vastly velvety sky watching the stars twinkle a gazillion lightyears away. that's the ghost of you and me.
i wonder if there's anything to make ghosts disappear. put them from my mind.
it must've been love.
10:55 pm
xoxo
